You Are Here: The Path to Success Starts Where You Are

Flashback - I’m 36 years old, in full TV makeup and hair, and I’m walking to the news set to record a newsbreak when the woman from HR hurries up to me in the hall and says, ‘The GM wants to see you.’ It’s Friday, and yesterday’s Newspaper had an article about how I am once again voted ‘Charleston’s Favorite News Anchor’.  It’s the 7th year in a row, so I’m thinking, he wants to say congrats, thank you, or maybe give me a bonus’. 

As I sit down, before my butt can even hit the seat, he says, ‘Hi Nina, per your contract, we are releasing you without cause, effectively immediately”. My mind thinks, ‘It sounds like he’s been practicing that sentence’ before it registers what he actually said. Then, my mind starts racing. 

I don’t remember much more of that conversation and soon the woman from HR came back in with a box of my stuff from my desk and walked me out the door. My brain must have calmed down, because I vividly remember sitting in my car. I remember thinking, I can’t go home, the sitter is there with my kids, and I don’t know what to say. I can’t go anywhere in town; people will ask why I’m all dressed up and not on the news… so I sat in my car for a long time… thinking… Now What?

Back to today - That’s just one of several big ‘Now What’ moments in my life. It was not at all the direction I thought that day, week, month, or year would take me. It was as if life was saying, “Recalculating Route.” 

When you’re on a road trip and an actual  GPS says ‘Recalculating Route’, it’s annoying, but also comforting to know that at least someone (the GPS god) has an idea of where you are and how to get you to your destination. Throughout my life’s journey, that’s what I wanted. I wanted a magical GPS  for the times when I hit those ‘NowWhat’ moments.

Think about it! A GPS for life’s low moments; a divorce, ‘You Are Here. Recalculating Route’ a medical diagnosis, You Are Here. Recalculating Route’ an accident or failure, You Are Here. Recalculating Route’ And that GPS should support you for life's high moments too.  An Olympic athlete wins the gold medal, Arrived, Recalculating Route’.  You get the dream job or promotion, Arrived, Recalculating Route’. You buy the house or take the big vacation, Arrived, Recalculating Route. 

Personally, I like to put my internal WAZE voice on a British accent to hear it say ‘Recalculate Route’. I also like WAZE to talk to me in Unicorn, 70’s DJ, or Jennifer Hutson. I’ve obviously thought about this a lot. I’ve thought long and hard about these pivotal moments and how to create something that could support us in the  ‘Now Whats?’, Something to keep us calm and help us keep moving in our life journey

If you don’t know me, ‘Recalculating Route’ is a theme in my life. I’ve gotten good at it. I moved away from home at 13 and was a member of the USA Gymnastics team training for the 84 Olympics, but didn’t make it, Recalculating Route’. Then I was a top NCAA recruit and competed at LSU, but had a career-ending injury, Recalculating Route’. I became a popular news anchor, but was let go in budget cuts, Recalculating Route’. I went through a divorce Recalculating Route’, had a traumatic experience Recalculating Route’, left TV for a Tech startup,  Recalculating Route’,became a full-time conference speaker in 2020 (yep pandemic), Recalculating Route’. 

OK, to the point of this blog post now (I am fully aware that I’m not on the quickest route, this is a long post) It makes me sad to see so many people struggling with their success and questing their path. Wonderful, successful, hardworking people, probably a lot like you. Today’s constantly connected, comparative culture, FOMO-influenced view of success is causing anxiety, and depression, and keeping people from feeling successful. ‘Comparison is the thief of Joy’.

IRL (in real life), life is a journey. Sometimes, you are on top of the world, but no one stays there all the time. Sometimes you are struggling and you don’t want to stay there! You have to keep moving on your life’s journey. Believe me, I have been navigating these highs and lows for decades. 

If you are waiting till you reach some magical destination to be happy, waiting till you are not busy to enjoy the people around you, waiting till ‘later’ to take care of your health… then you are going to be super bummed when you achieve the thing that you are working on, because that’s not how it works. The old saying ‘enjoy the journey’ is true.

Now, I am not saying quit working hard and giving it your all. I am a fan of that. Please, just pick your head up and look around. Adjust your thinking. Adjust priorities. This is your life! You only get one! 

Quick question for all you high achievers: What image comes to mind when you think ‘success’? The house, the pool, the car, the ‘name your thing’. Now, what image comes to mind when you think of a successful ‘lifetime’? I am guessing they are not the same. What are you working towards?

I’ve hung out with very wealthy people who are very unhappy. People who were medicating and self-medicating for anxiety and depression. I’ve hung out with very poor people who are joyful. When I was a reporter, I was interviewing a wonderful old woman, full of joy and when we finished, I asked to use her restroom. She smiled and said, “We don’t have one, but we have a very nice pee pot out back, and you are welcome to use that”. Get it?

So back to you. Hey, you – You Are Here. Start noticing and enjoying that you are on your journey. You did the work to get here. You-5-years-ago didn’t know what you know. You have experience, maybe certifications, and connections that You-5-years-ago couldn’t even imagine or understand. You got the job; you are doing the thing! It’s all cumulative. It’s uniquely yours. Nothing happens in a vacuum. It all adds up. You Are Here. 

Yes, someone is ahead of you in your career, is in better shape than you, or has more money. The people you are comparing yourself to are on their own journey. You are messing with your mental health by comparing. Look at you. They don’t know what you know, they haven’t done what you’ve done. If they are ahead of you, learn from them. 

And hey, other people are behind you, learning from you. Some are wishing they could be where you are. You Are Here, on your own journey. That’s what you have control over. 

Your chose to go after this job, hang out with these people, spend money on cool stuff, have kids, or not have kids. That’s all part of your story and it is your amazing story. No one else’s! Go be the star of your story. Yes, you want to be further along, make more, do more, get the thing.. we all do.

You know what?  The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The second best time is today. Right here. You Are Here.

Note: back to that GPS for life I was talking about. I did create it! Decades of experience create wisdom, and I’ve taken that wisdom, done the research, and created a repeatable process for those ‘Now What’’ moments. A process to help us all, manage the stress and uncertainty. I call it ‘THIS Framework’ and I share it when I speak. Big Announcement - it’s the foundation for my third book.  Recalculating Route, Navigating Life’s Highs and Lows (working title). It’s going to be a fun read and I can’t wait to get it into your hands.  I’ll be sharing some of it here on my blog.