Be a Good Teammate
"When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen." - Harley Davidson
I love that quote. I’m a big fan of owning your story, my most popular keynote empowers you to take control of your future and write amazing next chapters. When I am on stage, I can see people physically lean into the idea of being the main character in their story. I see them moving in their chairs. They get intrigued and lean towards the stage.
But there is one point in that keynote when they lean back. When their body language conveys disinterest and indifference. It’s like I’ve thrown an invisible switch on the stage that magically makes some people lean back in their seats. And yes, I still leave that part in.
You see, I go from ‘you being the main character’ in your own story... to the fact that you are NOT the main character in other people’s stories… that THEY are the main character, BUT (pause for effect) You are a character in their story.
And then I ask. “How would they describe you”? What words are they using as they write about you in the story of their lives?
With all the Olympic hype underway this summer, I’ll switch the language and ask you, “What type of teammate are you?”.
Think about your co-workers, your friends, your family or your spouse. How are you showing up for the people around you? Are you the hero, the villain, or something else? Are you helping or hurting?
Make a list of the people you interact with each day. Now choose the role you play in each of their lives. Don’t be slack and say ‘friend’ or ‘boss’, make yourself use a character description:
Hero/Heroine: The character who embodies courage, strength, and nobility, often overcoming great challenges to achieve a positive outcome.
Villain (Antagonist): The character who opposes the protagonist, creating conflict and obstacles for them to overcome.
Antagonist's Minion: A subordinate of the main villain, often carrying out their orders and adding to the conflict.
Sidekick: A loyal companion to the main character, providing support, comic relief, or contrast to the protagonist's traits.
Mentor: A wise and experienced character who guides and advises the main character, often playing a critical role in their development.
Comic Relief: A character whose primary purpose is to provide humor and lighten the mood of the story.
Neutral Character: A character who is neither good nor bad, often serving as a bystander or observer in the story's events.
We all have control over how we show up. We can adjust and BE different if we want to. What people say about you is who you are ‘BEING in life’ more than what you are ‘DOING’.
If you are curious about what they might say you can conduct your own covert ops to figure it out. No one will know you are doing it. It doesn’t take any prodding. Just really listen the next time someone introduces you. Listen and let it sink in. You will learn a lot about yourself.
I caution you to be thick-skinned and treat what you hear like feedback. I approach this listening exercise like I am being coached. With coaching, you can make an adjustment and change the outcome. In recent years, I’ve been working to change my outcome.
I started really listening to how people introduced me or told others about me, about two years ago. My current profession is as a ‘speaker’. This listening and feedback has changed how I work with and interact with those who hire me to speak.
I found that I was often introduced by my accomplishments, “This is Nina, she’s a former gymnast, a news anchor and she worked in tech… she’s super accomplished, she wrote a book, she’s done everything”. Some version of that rambling introduction was the norm, and it was just stuff I had done in the past. No one was saying the things that I was trying to BE now. None of that rambling inferred that I am kind, helpful, smart, or good at what I do now.
I changed my behaviors and my language, and over time, my ‘feedback’ changed. One place I look for who I am BEING today, is in my testimonials. Here is a recent testimonial following a state SHRM event:
"I enjoy working with Nina. I appreciate her professionalism and ability to adapt to changes. She’s prepared, adds value, and always ends on time. I told her she could go into business coaching other speakers on how to work with a group. Our audience feedback on Nina was full of words like amazing, encouraging, and inspirational, and some listed Nina’s presentation as their favorite of the event." - Lori Maher McCombs, Owner, Maher Group
The part I'm most proud of is 'prepared and always ends on time.' It's not sexy, but it is who I want to BE. In this business, speakers who end on time are kind and helpful (to the event planners who have worked so hard to create an experience) and smart (they know their content and have practiced their craft). That is how I want to show up. I want to do the work, but more importantly, be a kind, helpful, smart, person in the story of their lives.
So who do you want to be in your work and at home? It’s not an easy question. We spend so much time ‘doing’ that we don’t seem to take time to think about it. Since the world is not slowing down for us, I suggest you carve out a few minutes to give this some thought and ponder it carefully. To reflect on who you want to BE.
I’ve heard some people call it ‘writing your own eulogy’. As in, what will they say about you in ‘The End’. Maybe that works for you, for me, it feels too heavy. I just need a few words that I can use to guide my interactions. To steer me in the right direction.
You are the main character in your story. Take this ‘Being’ thought with you as you step into your world today. Go out there and do your job. More importantly, listen, take in the feedback, and try to BE the character you want to BE in other people’s stories. Be a good teammate.